REG TURGLEDGE

Reg Turgledge was first discovered by 19th century accordion master Friedrich Cuquold Ipswitch, Duke of Cornpone, while pretending to play the pan flute in a Polynesian jug band.

Thanks to this musical chicanery, Ipswitch recognized in Turgledge a keen ability to completely disassociate from the task at hand, a skill required for any serious student of the accordion and one normally only seen in those with sociopathic personality disorders. He did not until later become aware of the many pints of ale Turgledge had to consume in order to perform this feat.

Ipswitch — who had lost most of his liver in a freak accident involving a milkmaid, a divining rod, and a tabby cat named Toaster of the Town — was unable to imbibe, and this conflict led to his inevitable rejection of Turgledge as an apprentice.

Discouraged, Turgledge hitchhiked to Las Vegas: a place he'd been told irrelevant performers went to so that they might live out their last days in the comfort of identical-looking, air-cooled tract houses. A chance meeting at a shanty-town in the Nevada desert led to a three-day jam session between Turgledge and future Ice Cream Truck band-mate John L. Cyborg. During this 72-hour violin and accordion summit (known in some circles as "Dissonancefest '77") the two musicians are said to have survived only on coffee, cigarettes, and chocolate shakes. While both agreed that they should start a band together, neither had a permanent address, let alone a telephone, so this plan would not come to fruition until a year later.

Energized by his desert encounter, Turgledge then took up with a sea shanty-playing band of pirates, known simply as R, releasing 17 singles for Poopdeck Productions, all of which failed to chart. In a 2005 interview for NME, Turgledge said that the most important lesson he learned during his brief stint with R was that, "Rum isn't really all that good unless you mix it with something else." The following year, Turgledge reunited with Dissonancefest '77 pal Cyborg and they founded Ice Cream Truck.

Turgledge is currently married to Haht Dang, founder of southeast Asian a cappella supergroup The Barbershop Quartet Offensive. The Offensive tours occasionally, playing mostly supper clubs. Their website notes that there is "usually a two drink Ho Chi Minimum." When not on the run from the IRS, the couple resides in Southern California.

TRIVIA:

• Turgledge dislikes his given name and insists that his friends call him "Guy."
• He is not, as many have suggested, cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
• Once, when asked his favorite type of scotch, Turgledge replied, "Free."

JOHN L. CYBORG

John L. Cyborg is of mostly unknown origin. The first anecdotal evidence of his existence dates to 1969 and the group Jeronimo Black, performing alongside members of Frank Zappa's band, The Mothers of Invention. Various but unconfirmed Cyborg sightings were reported in both Topanga and Laurel Canyons throughout the early 1970's. Cyborg also briefly played slide guitar in the Louisiana boogie-woogie group Uncle Crusty and the Canaligators, which would later prove to be a profound influence on a new generation of comically-named bands.

In the late 1970's, Cyborg teamed up with surrealist ice cream wunderkind Demon Fridge in the hills above Berkeley. With Cyborg's assistance, Fridge perfected his now-famous ice cream recipe, using partially deweaponized uranium as the key ingredient. This collaboration resulted in an early version of what would become Ice Cream Truck's first album, The Visitation.

Cyborg disappeared from earthly existence for most of 1977 after the 3-day jam session (Dissonencefest '77) where he and Reg Turgledge first met, surfacing only briefly in a Lousiana bayou to purchase a broken down ice cream truck.

TRIVIA:

• Invented a working time machine but refuses to show it to anyone but band-mate Turgledge; successfully used it at least once to attend 1969 Catamite Music Festival
• Built a female robot singing duo in his garage in late 2002